Forever in my heart!!!

The past few weeks have been pretty hectic & very real to say the least. On February 12 we received news that the doctors were giving my papa 4 to 8 weeks to live. He had been fighting cancer for about 8 years. I mean fighting to. Needless to say for the past two weeks we were with him every chance we got. As you have seen on past post, Valentines Day Jeremy, Braxton & myself went to their house to hang out for the day and we all had a great time. Papa was in great spirits and he and Braxton read books together and it was like you would have never known he was terminally ill. That is who he was, always smiling & in a good mood. Over the next week he spent 4 days in the hospital( all of which I was there to keep him company and be his cheerleader as he was always mine on the ball field) and then came home. When returning home Braxton & I went to see him two times over the next week and that Monday March 1st I got a call from mom saying papa was headed to the hospital. I went strait to his side in Demorest where we stayed for a few hours and then was transported to Northside Forsyth Hospital, where he choose to be because his doctor was there. The whole family came that night to the hospital and we just hung out with papa. It was really cool to have most of us together but we all knew it was for a sad reason. I stayed the night with Evelyne and Papa and I am so thankful that I did. My papa was my hero and I would & did always take care of him in anyway because that's what he did for me andI wanted to. Needless to say it was a long night of tossing & turning and trying to keep him comfortable. Evelyne & I did not sleep a wink. It was quite amusing as well. Papa never failed to amaze me and make me laugh. One of my last memories of him is papa laying in the hospital bed and me sitting in a chair across the room looking at him and he looking at me with his big blue eyes saying "you look at me I look at you." He had the attitude behind the saying as well. He was bobbing his head! I think this was God's way of letting us have one last laugh and making this a good memory!

Early Tuesday morning about 8:53am papa went home to be with our loving God. God took him in a peaceful painless way in which all of us had been praying for and what was a very surreal experience for me. I could go on & on about the course of the night, believe me it plays over & over in my head all the time and I always think of new things that took place that were totally Gods doings. An example of this is Ms. Sharon, Papa's nurse that night. She was the sweetest lady I have ever met in my life. She took care of him and of me & Evelyne. Ms. Sharon prayed with the three of us, she was our cheerleader and most of all she talked & sincerely cared for all of us. Ms. Sharon cried her eyes out when she gave my papa his last shot of Morphine and when her shift was over she came to find me and give me a big hug. I will always be thankful for her loving and compassionate heart with my papa & my family!

I have known this time was coming for a while a now and I think I made peace with it long ago. To me this is how I was able to be strong and at peace with all of the events that have taken place. I have learned a lot about life, God and more so about myself in this experience than I could ever imagine (I am a lot stronger in many ways that I did know). I thank God for papa's life, for his teachings, his caring & loving arms, his gentle & kind words of wisdom and his giving heart! Papa, you were a teacher of many things, you were my teacher, my mentor, my friend, & my papa! I love you for all you were and all you made me to be! Thank you for loving me and I can't wait to see you again someday in Heaven! You will always be close to me and in my heart!